Hello, anyone who happens to read this. My name is Mark. I'm writing this as a way to vent, help keep me busy, and express a family and personal issue that's pretty much psychologically took its toll on me.
My aunt and uncle are both mentally ill, and have been for years. They were fine once upon a time, but now.. Let's get started from the beginning. .
My aunt and uncle had a place that was left to them by a preacher or pastor. But this wasn't just your average psalm and sin peddler. He was also a legal marijuana grower and dealer. When he passed, I guess he left his house and complete growing farm in it to them to keep growing legal bud. They lived in it for a few years, keeping it cookin' as it were. My uncle was already a bud smoker so it fit him nicely, thus the reason the preacher chose him.
Like any smart person, running a guaranteed money maker as far as I know, you should put money aside in case of emergencies. They didn't. Someone broke into their basement cellar and stole all their plants, the main farm. This is when my story begins.
They called us, saying their power was out for a few days and asked if they could stay a few nights. We had just moved into a bigger place, a room for my parents, sister, and I from a place with just two bedrooms. We hadn't even gotten everything unpacked, but my mum thought "sure! Why not? What's the worst that could happen?" forgetting everything we knew about them from the past.
Sure enough, it was a deception. They showed up with suitcases of clothes, saying "just in case", but it was apparent to me they were lying and deceiving us. It's whey they seemed to do best besides the occasional paranoia of the government spying on my aunt through the cable and house intercoms. I tried to explain it to my mum, but she didn't get it until they basically said after the fourth day or so "oh yeah! We didn't just lose our power, we spent all the extra money we had instead of keeping it for an emergency. We haven't paid our rent for two months and must vacate. Thanks for letting us live here." :|
I ended up having to drive or with my uncle, massive pot head with mental illness, and help him move stuff out into storage for several days. One day he flipped out because he misplaced his "sustenance" (aka candy bars and such), smoked more than usual, and passed out, leaving me to do put stuff in the truck. I even wrote on Facebook and texted friends to relay a message to my family to see of someone could come get me since I was miles and miles away with no vehicle of my own or idea how to get back. I eventually had to yell at him to get his ass up and we were done, period, I'm not helping again.
They lived with us for a few months. Then my uncle decided he'd been here long enough to be obnoxious, threatened me when I told him to stop freaking out over not being able to find his lighter to smoke a bowl. Saying to my sleeping aunt "maybe if I splatter brains on the wall people would listen to me." as I said, he threatened me after that, and my dad snap to "What did you say?" -I wasn't talking to you- "Well I'm talking to you. Get your clothes and get the hell out of my house. NOW!" Uncle out, but not gone. Harassed almost daily for two years with me standing sentinel outside telling him to leave for most of the day. Record time being on a May 4th at around 10pm (when my dad went to work late shift-he waited for him to leave-) to Cinco de Mayo the next day to 2-3pm with Jaggermeister. Leaving for five minutes and coming back to harass, swear, talk nonsense with the neighbors kids playing who were made to go inside. Image that for 1-2 years.
Then, on top of that, my aunt slowly went deeper and deeper into her mental illness. My mum can't really deal with her, and my sister was a young teen and shouldn't have to deal with her. My dad works nightshift and he needed to sleep during the day. So, I felt I had no choice, and took it as my responsibility to deal with them both so everyone else could relax a bit.. I dont think I'm going to recover from the last several years.
Him all day harassing until he left, back and forth in between making sure my aunt wasn't freaking out or hurting someone or herself. Stayed up most of the night having to stop my aunt from screaming at people who weren't there, her kids in another state, people that are trying to kill her, running to the neighbors saying there was a bomb(er) or killer with a gun who murderer us all including her. Had to hide the phones, apologize to the neighbors, the police, the ambulance people. It got to the point. We had to hide the phones and I slept on the floor in front of the front door with large buckets of paint we had at my back so she couldn't just step over me and go out the door. During winter, she walked out into the street when it was below freezing in pajamas and socks, talking to non existent people about bombs. This was every day, and and only remember a few times she slept the entire day after staying awake for three days getting worse and worse.
She assaulted my mom and sister over the phone. She got taken away in cuffs, but my mum told them she needs medical help, so they put her in an ambulance. Still had court, which she refused to go to and the judge just tossed it all out because of it. They tricked their way back in the house saying they would leave when their SS check went into the bank, refused to leave, called the place to make it seem like they were in the right. They refused to leave, she turned the mental illness up farthest she ever had before when they showed up. The policed talked down to us, basically telling us we were horrible people, said they didn't care about the past assault, didn't care about anything that happened in the past, that they lied their way into the house and refused to leave. Guess what they told us? Guess? You'll never guess it. They told us that because we LET THEM IN THE DOOR, they had a RIGHT to stay if they didn't want to leave. They told us the ONLY way they could force them to leave, force them to leave OUR house where they didn't live, was if we had a restraining order or gave them an OFFICIAL vacate notice to leave within two weeks. So if you live in Shoreline, Washington or the surrounding area, watch out. Don't let anyone into your house that you don't want to stick around. The police here will tell you they have a right to stay in your home if you let them inside.
(Note-Even a few other officers from different interactions where she went wandering into another district area with different police, said that Shoreline was seen a bit like the black sheep to other police stations. There are good officers and I've met them. They're not all bad and it might be just our luck. )
Years of this. No help. When she managed to call 911 for an ambulance, she refused to go with them. So they left her after explaining she needed help, medical help, and we (mostly me) were losing our minds.
She had gotten hit by a car the year prior, and she received a $30k settlement. She had gotten to a doctor (fucking finally!) who gave her meds making her lucid for a month, but she had to go back each month to get a refill and an injection.. Month 2, she didn't go. She spent all of the $30k at the casino, giving it to friends, her and my uncle didn't use one cent of it to fix their situation permanently and get a place. She showed up a day or so before Christmas, my mum let her in again and she stayed with us again.. Refusing to go to the doctor to get her meds, obscenities screamed at us, threats, and what was the final straw that finally broke my sanity and my ability to care about where she is or what is going on with her, she said something that was just it. The end, don't care, done trying to help her after years of blood, sweat, and literal tears of trying to help her and get her help.. She told me I raped and murdered my ex girlfriend. One of my exes, someone I cared deeply for and loved very much even though they seemed to not care less about me after things played out, she was raped and shot at a bonfire I decided not to go to,to given her space. She died in ICU a few weeks after her 16th birthday. To hear those words from her mouth.. Done, the end. To never see her again would be too soon.
She was gone soon after. Never to step foot in our home.. Until my mum did it again..
She stops by once a month to get her SS check since she doesn't have a residence and refuses to get help. Last month she let her in, a few days later she tried to walk in because she's a "give an inch, take a mile" person. I had to put my foot in front of the door as she tried to push herself in. I knew she would do it. I waiting outside looking at the mailbox waiting so she could taken it and leave.
The years of dealing with my aunt and uncle, many situations I haven't mentioned here, have psychologically scarred me. Seeing them, hearing their voice, just hearing their names now set me into instant panic attacks where I have trouble breathing, my heart pounds, my chest hurts and feels hollow, nausea, shaking, fear.. She's here again.. Tonight June 7th 2015. Refusing to leave.. Sitting outside the house on the ground. I'm standing sentinel on the porch to make sure she doesn't come up here.. I'm close to breaking down again, writing this as a way to keep myself mentally occupied.
Some might think my family and I are heartless. Some might think "hey, they're mentally ill. Not their fault." It doesn't matter. Ask my friends, I think they might say I'm one of the nicest people. Caring, considerate, thoughtful, one heard it more than a few times. But I seriously can't deal with this all over again. When it comes to people, even my enemies, I'd rather suffer than hurt others or lie or anything like that. When it comes to being nice to practically everyone, I'm unbroken. When it comes to them? I have no choice but to be broken to save myself. And I hope people understand.
Thank you to all who read this all the way through. Don't think many will.
