How do you tell someone, without seeming uncaring or putting yourself
on pedastal, that they aren't who you thought they were? Or that the
person they were only existed when the story that is their life "felt"
perfect? When any form of distress, uncertainty, or belief in a lesser
scenario takes a beloved's personality and stores it away to allow a new
one to take its place.. In what way can a single person's understanding
of who someone is becomes the foundation of another's identity, or the
very reason they wish to make it disappeared?
I
feel I've seen and dealt with too much being an observer of people.
It's the reason why I believe psychologists are more messed up than
their patients. I've been like a counselor to a lot of people. Walked,
pulled, and pushed into many situations in which I've had to interact
with people that were decent, cruel, selfish, crazy, you name it.
Situations between friends, family, and strangers where I remember
everything said and done on the winning side, losing side, even when
both sides were right or wrong and they just wanted to battle it out
just to try and be above the other. Now, how do you become so insightful
seeing all this done, time after time, until you know exactly how this
person or that person will act? How they think? And believe before they
even do it to the point you know better than to allow them inside your
own little bubble? We do this, then suspend those beliefs for a single
person or several persons over time. Because of love? Trust?
Gullibility? Maybe we're become tired how things are and want something
different. We get lonely, and allow them to be at the center of life to
distract from it even when you know they won't be around for long. Not
only because you like them, as far as that expression can go, but they
appear to be the someone who is most likely to help change what you've
learned to expect and reshape the view of the world around, give it a
new color.
We've all been guilty of expecting
something more from a friendship or relationship, because past
experiences have hurt us in a way that scarred and took away your
ability to trust someone completely. It's just as much human nature as
leaving someone important to you behind when you hear something is a
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. sometimes that person really is
special, but they don't figure it out before it's too late. Over a long
time the job might turn out not to be once-in-a-life and they find
something better elsewhere. Then in retrospect, they realize that the
person they left behind was what was once-in-a-lifetime.
As
I said, I'm guilty of this also. I've had my share of friendships and
relationships that I let go of for good and selfish reasons, looking
back I wish I hadn't. Most people change for better or for worse, but
some already have a perfect personality that needs no altering. It
makes me sad, and honestly uncomfortable, when I had a friend that I
knew for many many years with a great personality before I moved away,
only to talk to them years later and find out that they are basically a
stranger with no personality that could even could a candle to their
former selves. I swear, I think some of my friends might be amazed that
I haven't changed much personality-wise. I still try to be the nice
guy who always lets the person behind me cut in line. 1)What's the harm
in it? and 2)I'd feel bad if I ended up getting something they actually
needed more. I do this too much I think. a few people asked me why I'm
so nice, as if i had some agenda or something(which is true. only a
handful you will ever meet will be genuinely nice just to be nice). I
want to be nice just 'cause I want to be nice. And I'm mean to point
when I feel I really need to be to get a point across, but I'm way too
nice for my own good. Being too nice=doormat to 95% of people capable
of understanding they could use it for their own benefit.
Do
yourselfs a favor, observe people, watch them, especially the rudest
and the nicest ones. Watch for the signs of being guinine at what they
do. genuine nice, they do not look at things with a sense of "what am I
getting out of it?", they look at it first "what am I helping with and I
hope I do a good job" THAT'S a truly nice person =) I'm not listening
to people's problems for my own benefit(unless it's something I've never
encountered. in which I use my 5 trains of thought and figure the best
out), or doing things to help others for myself, I really could care
less what's wrong with me mentally and physically. I'm amused it's taken
this long and I expected far worse by now. The way my body is action
and little problems, my mum wants me to get a head scan to see if I have
a tumor xD, but I don't care so much. I don't have a job or insurance
and it would end up going to them if i did pass away and I WILL NOT
leave them with a financial problem from me. anywho lol that was off
topic. PERSONALITY- How do you let someone know they aren't the person
you thought they were? answer: You don't. If they changed so easily,
then it's safe to assume that the real personality comes out when
trouble arises, similar to how the drunk that speaks his mind after an
hour of straight shots but would never be so truthful while he's sober.
the truth of a personality comes out when the times are rough. Anyone
can be happy when things are perfect. when things are falling apart and
you still feel happy because you have something special that is more
important to you, THAT is when you're truly happy. And sadly, you can't
be truly happy unless you know what it's like to be truly sad.
So...ask
yourself this. Have I been truly sad to know what true happiness is?
And have I been truly happy to know what true sadness is? And ask
yourself, why is it that I can't seem to find a balance. it's always one
or the other. Think about it.
No comments:
Post a Comment