"Life in General" quick script - Scene 1 -

I wrote a few scenes for a movie several years ago, as always, based on a dream I had lol Since I get bored easily with writing/typing, I only pushed out a few scenes and posted it on a site to see how people responded to the humor and characters. Those that read it seemed to really enjoy it. A few said they were addicted to the humor and demanded I inform them when I put a new scene out. I had gotten six scenes done before I had too many distraction and sidetracks. I fell out of it. BUT, for amusement, I'm going to post them on here, one a day. I've never written a "script" so I winged it. Don't judge me monkeys :| Scene 1 - Morning [INT-- BEDROOM] [you see a guy in bed on his stomach half covered with a blanket in his boxers. The window shades are glowing orange on it's edges from the sun] [alarm clock on the other side of the room rings] Guy: "huh..." [The guy shifts around as alarm clock rings gets louder making him roll over and falls off the bed on the right side] [he mumbles, face in a pair of shoes while stretching his arms out from his sides(left arm under the bed)] Guy: "Not a TERRIBLE start to a sunny morning I gue--" [A loud SNAP! is heard, and he starts yelling in pain pulling his arm out with an object on his hand . sliding around he hits his head on his night stand next to his bed. (Alarm still ringing)] [The object is knocked off his hand in front him] [Exaggeratedly and out of breath] Guy: "what the hell?!" [He picks up the upside down mousetrap while shaking his hurt hand and a little. A little green circle with a hole in the middle was underneath the mousetrap and he didn't notice. (alarm rings louder) He throws the shoe at the clock and it falls off the stand and stops beeping] [a brunette girl wearing punky/goth clothing comes bursting in the room and looking around on the floor]: Girl: "Where is it?! Derek! Where's the little furry bastard from hells parasite petting zoo?! I want to see it take it's last tiny little breaths and see the lights leave it's demonic beady little eyes!" [She looks at Derek on the floor sucking on his hurt fingers and realizes it was him. She stomps her foot] Girl: "DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT! ...ok...calm down...reset it and and it'll be ok. the other traps are still there...waiting...hehehe" [The Derek stares at her with a confused upset look for several seconds and says]: Girl: "What?" "....ooooooooooOOOWWWWWWW!" [She rolls her eyes while taking the mouse trap from his unhurt right hand] [The guy sits back up against his nightstand and looks up at the ceiling rubbing his aching fingers, while the girl picks up the little green circle with a pair of tweezers and puts it in a little plastic case] Girl: "Don't be such a wimp. It's not like you lost your hand." Derek: "Have you done it?!" Girl: "Ha! God no, I'd kill someone in a violent destructive rage of pain. Now get up, I'll get some frozen peas for your wimpy little bruises" [The girl starts walking out of the room] Derek: "How can you be evil and sympathetic at the same time? You're like a estrogen based Nazi Tiera" [She turns around outside the door way and leans on her right hand on the doorknob and looks at him] Tiera: "Three things: A) Germany is cool B) Hitler sucked and C) I look waaaay better than any fascist in boots" [She gives a big squinty-eyed smile. She turns and impersonates a german soldier goose stepping down the hall] Tiera: "MICH HEIL!! MICH HEIL!! DIE NUR MAEDCHEN MACHT EUCH GEIL!!" [Derek smiles as a guy comes to the door seemingly in a rush] Guy: "Dude! You're not ready yet?! Get movin'! Derek: "What's the rush?" Guy: "I don't know it's um SATURDAY! Named after a planet and a God made by one of mankind's first delussional ancestors' beliefs!" [Derek thinks for second] Derek: "Some music guy is coming right?" Guy: "He's not just some music guy. He owns the biggest record company in Europe" Derek: "And that matters to you and me...why?" Guy: "Oh I don't know OH! Maybe it's because of what Ghallager said to us last week" [Derek starts thinking again and you see a flashback. In an office Derek and the guy both sitting in chairs infront of a desk. A 50-ish year old looking guy in a suit with suspenders without the coat is sitting edge of the desk in the middle] Ghallager: "Derek...Chase...You know I'm a nice guy at heart right?But, If you screw off, and mess this up, I'll microwave yo' bawls WHILE THEY'RE STILL ATTACHED UNTIL THEY EXPLODE!!...Ya got me?!" "Derek" and -Chase-: "Yes sir you're the boss" -Understood-"Balls. ding. boom." -euneuched- Derek: "Crystal Mr. G" [Flashback ends and goes back to the room] Guy: "I don't know about you, but I like my balls. I can't abandon them. Chase and his balls can't be seperable, one can't live fully without the others" [Derek stands up and stretches] Derek: "Alright alright, I'll meet you in the car in 10 minutes" Chase: "My future children thank you. I'll make some toast while you're getting ready and we can grab some coffee on the way there. Hurry" [Chase walks out of view and you hear footsteps going to another room, the kitchen.Derek starts pulling clothes out to wear] Derek:"Hey Chase watch out for mouse traps" Chase: "Watch out for what?" [You hear the sound of plastic crimpling, SNAP!] Chase: AGGHAAAAAAHAA! [ Derek frowns with mouth slightly open listening to the sound of plates and dishes and other things moving and crashing] [Footsteps clump down the hall and Tiera runs past Derek's door] Tiera: "Where is it?! Where is it?!" [You hear Tiera and Chase talking in the kitchen] Chase: "You put a mousetrap.... in the bread bag?" Tiera: "How was I supposed to know where the satan worshiping rodent gets it's fix? Stop your whining or I'll put one in your blowup doll" Chase: "It's not a blowup doll it's a punch me clown" Tiera: "What did Your PUNCH lines make the other one puncture her own wrists?...Hey don't throw bread!" [hear a little clatter] [Derek laughs as he puts his shirt on listening to them as he's getting ready] [[[END OF SCENE 1]]]